Nani has a gift for entering others’ cultures in a respectful and sensitive way. That gift, combined with her strong curiosity and sense of adventure, has led to a unique trajectory from her childhood in Indonesia to her current job as a project manager at LinkedIn. Part 3 of our conversation concluded with Nani attending San Francisco State University and feeling connected to her academic studies for the first time.
Sarah: You were also holding down a job, right?
Nani: Yes. I became friends with other Indonesian students and they helped me look for jobs. My first job was working as a barista at the university’s Café 101. I was really into it. I loved making the perfect coffee drinks. And I liked the public-facing aspect. I felt cool working there.
Then I got a waitressing job at a burger joint called The BullsHead, near my brother’s house in West Portal. It’s owned by Korean-American family. I had no experience in waitressing but they accepted me. It’s a very popular restaurant. Suddenly I wanted to be the best server. I even told my dad that my goal was to be a classy waitress at a fancy restaurant.
A colleague at the restaurant told me that a great server is when the patrons don’t even notice you’re there. I learned so much about that. For example, if patrons are having an intense conversation, there are ways to interject without intruding.
I wanted to move up in the restaurant world, so I left Bullshead and went to Olive Garden, next to SF State. I learned how to pair food and wine, which was fun. But it was a very corporate environment, not at all like the mom-and-pop world of Bullshead. You had to show up when they opened at 11am. They could dismiss you any time between 2–4:30pm—but you had to be back at 5:30pm for the dinner shift.
And the waitstaff were expected to compete with one another. I remember there was a prize for whoever sold the most desserts. I learned to cajole customers using witty comments—“Oh it’s OK, you have room because dessert goes to a different stomach.” I did get into trouble once. I was serving an older white American couple and I kept saying “you guys.” The gentleman gestured to his partner and said, Look at her—do you think she’s a guy? I apologized but then I repeated the term—it was just automatic for me. The second time he was pretty unhappy!
Even with the competition to sell, I was making less money than at The BullsHead. My performance started to slip—I didn’t want to be the best server in the world anymore. The store manager said, Nani, when you started you were getting 5+ stars but now you are only earning 4 stars. I didn’t last long. No regrets, though, because I learned a lot about workplace politics.
Sarah: When I met you, you were working in a tutoring center run by the university. How did that come about?
Nani: When I first arrived and was taking basic English, one of my teachers was a French-American woman. I liked her vibe and felt comfortable with her because English was also a second language for her. A few years later I ran into her on campus and she said she was working at the Learning Assistance Center, which provides free tutoring to students. She encouraged me to apply.
I had my doubts. How could an ESL student tutor native and non-native English speakers? I didn’t think I did well in interview. But I was accepted for the position.
Then I wanted to be the best tutor.
Sarah: Tell me about wanting to be the best at everything you do.
Nani: I remember you once said, Nani, when you want something, you want it now. I tended to move fast and I wanted to be the best, but then if I wasn’t stimulated enough, I lost interest.
I learned a ton working as an English tutor. I felt my managers were more confident in me than I was in myself. Sometimes the director would pair me up with students who had learning disabilities. After a session I would have no idea if the student I’d worked with had gotten anything out of it. But we received training and the managers did sometimes observe.
I worked part-time there, tutoring students in reading, writing, and study skills. When I graduated they offered me a full-time position as an office manager with time built into my week to do some tutoring.
The director of the Center was one of the best managers I ever had. She expressed a lot of confidence in me, and she was compassionate and empathetic. For instance, she noticed that I liked to swim. She said, if you go swimming at lunch and you take a little more than an hour, don’t worry about it. I learned so much from her about how to be a good manager.
That position was a great match for me for a while, but over time I got frustrated by the manual system they used for scheduling appointments. I had learned that you could schedule using computers, which made it much more efficient. I offered my recommendations and was told my thinking was sound, but they were not ready to make the shift. I didn’t realize (and wasn’t patient enough to figure out) that in public institutions, things don’t happen swiftly. It’s not like once you identify a problem and a solution you can solve it overnight.
Next: Poetry Has No Rules
-
August 2021
- Aug 31, 2021 The Heart Is the Major Target—Part 9: The Teacher Role Isn't My Essence Aug 31, 2021
-
June 2021
- Jun 13, 2021 The Heart Is the Major Target—Part 8: Machines Spilling Out Teachers Jun 13, 2021
-
April 2021
- Apr 14, 2021 The Heart Is the Major Target—Part 7: A Waterfall of Inspiration Apr 14, 2021
-
February 2021
- Feb 14, 2021 The Heart Is the Major Target—Part 6: Grab the Right Computer File Feb 14, 2021
-
December 2020
- Dec 26, 2020 The Heart Is the Major Target—Part 5: Yoga Is My Second Child Dec 26, 2020
-
November 2020
- Nov 5, 2020 The Heart Is the Major Target—Part 4: Wow, This Is Me Nov 5, 2020
-
October 2020
- Oct 4, 2020 The Heart Is the Major Target—Part 3: In Exile in My Own Country Oct 4, 2020
-
August 2020
- Aug 23, 2020 The Heart Is the Major Target—Part 2: Openness to the Unseen Aug 23, 2020
- Aug 2, 2020 The Heart Is the Major Target—Part 1: Let's Move Around; We'll Feel Better Aug 2, 2020
-
July 2020
- Jul 25, 2020 Educator Wellness Series Conclusion: Moving Forward with Wellness Jul 25, 2020
- Jul 6, 2020 Educator Wellness Practice #10: Inhabiting the Dignified Stance of "Adequate" Jul 6, 2020
-
June 2020
- Jun 17, 2020 Educator Wellness Practice #9: Jun 17, 2020
- Jun 3, 2020 Educator Wellness Practice #8: Reducing Stress Through Body Scanning Jun 3, 2020
-
May 2020
- May 21, 2020 Facebook Live Event: A Conversation About the Impact of Saying Goodbye to Students May 21, 2020
- May 13, 2020 Educator Wellness Practice #7: Setting Intention and Letting Go of Results May 13, 2020
- May 6, 2020 Educator Wellness Practice #6: Practicing Goodwill as Self-Care May 6, 2020
-
April 2020
- Apr 29, 2020 Educator Wellness Practice #5: Dealing with Constant Change Apr 29, 2020
- Apr 22, 2020 Educator Wellness Practice #4: Listening to Silence Apr 22, 2020
- Apr 21, 2020 Facebook Live Event: A Conversation About the Importance of Self-Care Apr 21, 2020
- Apr 15, 2020 Educator Wellness Practice #3: Apr 15, 2020
- Apr 8, 2020 Educator Wellness Practice #2: Engaging Wisely with News and Media Apr 8, 2020
- Apr 1, 2020 Educator Wellness Practice #1: Breathe ... Keep Breathing Apr 1, 2020
-
March 2020
- Mar 25, 2020 Educator Wellness Series for Collaborative Classroom Mar 25, 2020
-
May 2019
- May 19, 2019 Managing to Build Bridges - Part 8: Do We Want to Be Right in a Dictionary Sense? May 19, 2019
-
April 2019
- Apr 27, 2019 Managing to Build Bridges - Part 7: You Just Need to Find a Good Husband Apr 27, 2019
- Apr 6, 2019 Managing to Build Bridges - Part 6: Human Remains and Cultural Artifacts Apr 6, 2019
-
March 2019
- Mar 17, 2019 Managing to Build Bridges - Part 5: Poetry Has No Rules Mar 17, 2019
- Mar 3, 2019 Managing to Build Bridges - Part 4: Dessert Goes to a Different Stomach Mar 3, 2019
-
January 2019
- Jan 13, 2019 Managing to Build Bridges - Part 3: I Felt Pretty Stupid Jan 13, 2019
-
December 2018
- Dec 9, 2018 Managing to Build Bridges - Part 2: Such a Bad Kid Dec 9, 2018
-
November 2018
- Nov 23, 2018 Managing to Build Bridges - Part 1: The Pressure to Be a Certain Type of Girl Nov 23, 2018
-
October 2018
- Oct 23, 2018 Leadership Without Ego - Part 6: Mayberry with an Edge Oct 23, 2018
- Oct 1, 2018 Leadership Without Ego - Part 5: Everyone Everywhere Deserves to Make Art Oct 1, 2018
-
September 2018
- Sep 10, 2018 Leadership Without Ego - Part 4: I'm About Ready to Swear Sep 10, 2018
-
August 2018
- Aug 19, 2018 Leadership Without Ego - Part 3: The Dalai Lama Breaks All the Rules Aug 19, 2018
-
July 2018
- Jul 29, 2018 Leadership Without Ego - Part 2: The Kids Melted Under That Praise Jul 29, 2018
- Jul 10, 2018 Leadership Without Ego - Part 1: The Workshop Was Neutral Territory Jul 10, 2018
-
May 2018
- May 26, 2018 The Alchemy of Service - Part 5: Watch Out, Someone's Behind You May 26, 2018
- May 6, 2018 The Alchemy of Service - Part 4: Fireworks and Tears May 6, 2018
- May 5, 2018 The Alchemy of Service - Part 3: Joann Wong! You Are Chinese! May 5, 2018
-
April 2018
- Apr 6, 2018 The Alchemy of Service - Part 2: Mom, It's Only a Nickel Apr 6, 2018
-
March 2018
- Mar 19, 2018 The Alchemy of Service - Part 1: Mouse Soup Mar 19, 2018
-
February 2018
- Feb 18, 2018 Back to the Garden - Part 4: Mountain Lion Footprints on the Deck Feb 18, 2018
- Feb 3, 2018 Back to the Garden - Part 3: "You're a Good Egg—Happy Easter" Feb 3, 2018
-
January 2018
- Jan 15, 2018 Back to the Garden - Part 2: "A Pretty Big Failure" Jan 15, 2018
- Jan 1, 2018 Back to the Garden - Part 1: "Aesthetic Shock" Jan 1, 2018
-
August 2017
- Aug 15, 2017 Goodbye Self-esteem, Hello Self-compassion – Part 3: Real Love Aug 15, 2017
-
July 2017
- Jul 31, 2017 Goodbye Self-esteem, Hello Self-compassion – Part 2: Mirror, Mirror Jul 31, 2017
- Jul 17, 2017 Goodbye Self-esteem, Hello Self-compassion – Part 1: Bashing Vasco Jul 17, 2017
-
May 2017
- May 28, 2017 This Thing I Found: Teens Teach Us How to See Freshly May 28, 2017
-
March 2017
- Mar 20, 2017 Dream On - Part 6: Dream Analysis Example Mar 20, 2017
- Mar 7, 2017 Dream On - Part 5: A Dream Analysis Technique (cont.) Mar 7, 2017
-
February 2017
- Feb 20, 2017 Dream On - Part 4: A Dream Analysis Technique Feb 20, 2017
-
January 2017
- Jan 22, 2017 Dream On - Part 3: Recording Dreams Jan 22, 2017
- Jan 15, 2017 Dream On - Part 2: Dream Recall Jan 15, 2017
-
December 2016
- Dec 30, 2016 Dream On – Part 1 Dec 30, 2016
- Dec 12, 2016 Enjoying the Ride of Serendipity Dec 12, 2016
- Dec 6, 2016 Agnes Martin: A Singular Career Dec 6, 2016